All she wants to do is see her son. It’s been over a year since she has been able to make him a meal, tuck him in bed, or tousle his strawberry blonde hair. Oh how she longs to wrap her arms around him and tell him she loves him. They have both diligently crossed the days off the calendar, sometimes patiently, sometimes anxiously waiting until they could be together again. Sometimes the pain of waiting is almost too much to bear. There is nothing she can do about it, but wait.
Hindsight is 20/20. If only she could have seen clearly the pain of her actions before. If only she could have felt the anguish of separation before the incident, then surely she would have made different choices. I guess some people have to learn the hard way.
The issue of domestic violence is a serious one. When the police are called in for a domestic disturbance and one party is injured in the presence of a child the crime escalates to a felony. Many of us know someone who has been a victim of domestic violence, but we don’t typically picture the mother as the abuser. In the case of Amy, a young mother with an alcohol problem, she let her drinking cloud her judgment, and in the heat of the moment she hit her husband. It wasn’t the first time she had too much to drink and let her anger get the best of her, but it was the last straw. She was drunk, angry, and struck her husband in the face. The big difference this time was her son was present. A felony was committed.
In the State of Oregon an Assault IV felony will put a mother in Coffee Creek Correctional Institute. That in itself is sobering. There is a lot of time to think when you are locked up. Time ticks slowly off the clock when all you can think about is the family left behind. For over a year all Amy could think about was her 7 year old son. What is he doing today? I wonder how tall he is now? Did he get a good breakfast before school? I wonder if he likes his teacher. Does he have any friends? Do his friends know? How can he ever forgive me? I hope he knows this isn’t his fault.
Amy hit the gate at the beginning of a new year. She is determined to do things right this time. The loss of time between her and her son has already been too much. She is determined to never go back to drinking. She is finally free, and ready to begin again. Yet as she looked over her release papers there were 2 simple words that weighed heavy on her heart, No Contact. Just as she had feared there is a No Contact order between her and her victims. This includes her now 8 year old son. All the plans made, all the days crossed off, all the hopes they shared are still delayed. No one knows yet for how long. Amy was holding out hope that her parole officer could pull some strings, could erase her past, make some exceptions, something, anything, so that she could leave prison and see her son. Supervised visits would even be acceptable. Her husband called ahead of time to plead her case, plead for her return, and asked that allowances to be made, after all their case was different. But the law is the law. There are rules for a reason.
Domestic violence is a serious matter, and the ones hurt most often are the children. We must protect our children. Mothers die every day by the hand of one who is supposed to love them and we can’t allow that. We can no longer turn our heads and pretend that domestic violence doesn’t exist. Thankfully our laws are clearly defined and quite strict. The laws are there to protect the innocent, to protect those who can’t protect themselves.
But still I hurt for a young mom who wants a second chance, who wants to be the mom she once was and knows she can be again. I hurt for a young son who wants his mom back home and doesn’t understand why she can’t even talk to him on the phone. I hurt for a young family that is now torn apart. And my hurt pales in comparison to Amy’s.
Steppin' out with DWNTWN /
DWNTWNimages.me
Hindsight is 20/20. If only she could have seen clearly the pain of her actions before. If only she could have felt the anguish of separation before the incident, then surely she would have made different choices. I guess some people have to learn the hard way.
The issue of domestic violence is a serious one. When the police are called in for a domestic disturbance and one party is injured in the presence of a child the crime escalates to a felony. Many of us know someone who has been a victim of domestic violence, but we don’t typically picture the mother as the abuser. In the case of Amy, a young mother with an alcohol problem, she let her drinking cloud her judgment, and in the heat of the moment she hit her husband. It wasn’t the first time she had too much to drink and let her anger get the best of her, but it was the last straw. She was drunk, angry, and struck her husband in the face. The big difference this time was her son was present. A felony was committed.
In the State of Oregon an Assault IV felony will put a mother in Coffee Creek Correctional Institute. That in itself is sobering. There is a lot of time to think when you are locked up. Time ticks slowly off the clock when all you can think about is the family left behind. For over a year all Amy could think about was her 7 year old son. What is he doing today? I wonder how tall he is now? Did he get a good breakfast before school? I wonder if he likes his teacher. Does he have any friends? Do his friends know? How can he ever forgive me? I hope he knows this isn’t his fault.
Amy hit the gate at the beginning of a new year. She is determined to do things right this time. The loss of time between her and her son has already been too much. She is determined to never go back to drinking. She is finally free, and ready to begin again. Yet as she looked over her release papers there were 2 simple words that weighed heavy on her heart, No Contact. Just as she had feared there is a No Contact order between her and her victims. This includes her now 8 year old son. All the plans made, all the days crossed off, all the hopes they shared are still delayed. No one knows yet for how long. Amy was holding out hope that her parole officer could pull some strings, could erase her past, make some exceptions, something, anything, so that she could leave prison and see her son. Supervised visits would even be acceptable. Her husband called ahead of time to plead her case, plead for her return, and asked that allowances to be made, after all their case was different. But the law is the law. There are rules for a reason.
Domestic violence is a serious matter, and the ones hurt most often are the children. We must protect our children. Mothers die every day by the hand of one who is supposed to love them and we can’t allow that. We can no longer turn our heads and pretend that domestic violence doesn’t exist. Thankfully our laws are clearly defined and quite strict. The laws are there to protect the innocent, to protect those who can’t protect themselves.
But still I hurt for a young mom who wants a second chance, who wants to be the mom she once was and knows she can be again. I hurt for a young son who wants his mom back home and doesn’t understand why she can’t even talk to him on the phone. I hurt for a young family that is now torn apart. And my hurt pales in comparison to Amy’s.
Steppin' out with DWNTWN /
DWNTWNimages.me
