Life in the Northwest

Exploring new places, meeting new people, and discovering a few brew pubs along the way.

Sunday, February 20, 2011

16th birthdays and Lindsey's Dream

Just 10 short days ago Lindsey, #4, turned 23.  
Most of you know she has been in the process of moving to San Francisco.

Today, she is leaving Oregon 
and on her way to California.
It is exciting and sad all at the same time.
The excitement comes from knowing she is embarking on an adventure that will fulfill a dream.
The sadness comes from knowing we won't see her as often. 

At age 16 Lindsey walked into the Apple Store in San Francisco and said, 

"Mom, someday I am going to live here and work at Apple."  

I should begin by explaining how we, mother and daughter, ended up in San Francisco.

It was a dream of mine to take each child on a trip,
just 1 child & 1 parent, together
yet apart from all the other siblings and chaos of our busy household.
My vision was two fold:
1- to experience a big city, various cultures, mass transit, and something,
anything,
than the limitations of small town life.
Not to say that small town life isn't wonderful, it is.
But we live in a big world that is getting smaller everyday.
My job as a parent is to prepare my children for living in the world,
not just a very small part of the world they grew up in.
2- to connect with each other in a more adult way.
The teen years leading up to 16 & 17 seem to be the most difficult between parent and child.
Getting away for some one-on-one time when the relationship could be tenuous seemed like a good idea.
And with 6 of the 8 16th birthday trips down, I have to say my idea was a good one.

As chance would have it each of the girls (4 so far) have experienced San Francisco for their 16th birthday trip.  And that is how I ended up in San Francisco 7 years ago with Lindsey.

I don't think I will ever get used to watching my kids leave home.  
Good byes are never much fun, but 
I am pretty good at holding it together during good-byes. 
I typically break down once the car, plane, or train has gone from view.  
I don't know why I feel like I have to hold it together, or be strong.
I don't know why I fight back the tears.
My dad openly cried each time I had to leave even if it was only for a week or so.
I never minded his tears.
In fact, I loved him all the more because of his ability to cry with and for me.

I think it is something about being the mom...
If I cry, or worse, completely break down and sob, 
my kids might try to comfort me. 
I am supposed to be the one to comfort them, 
support them, let them know everything will be okay.
Its hard to do that through heavy tears.
I don't want them to know the worry, the fear, or the sadness I hold in my heart.
So I fight back the tears.

I suppose this might be why my mom held back tears too.
Regardless, I am confident that my daughter has made the best decision she can for herself at this time.  
We have raised her to be self sufficient and resilient.  
It is time for her to live her dreams. 

And it is exciting!
God Speed!

Steppin' out with DWNTWN
DWNTWNimages.me

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