Choir Girls Rule!

Today was a big choir day for my 3 youngest girls.

It began this morning with taking Laura (#8) to school and her telling me she had to perform in front of the school this morning.

It would end with Jacquie (#7) and Caroline (#6) both performing at District Choir competition in their respective choirs, Asteria Singers and Choir of the Titans.

Before I get too much farther into this blog I want to share a bit of my conversation with Laura as we drove to school.

Laura mentioned to me in her non-chalant way their choir would be performing in front of the school this morning. 
She explained the teacher believed that the more often a choir can perform in front of an audience, the better they become. 

I can see the logic in this thinking.

She went on to say that yesterday their early morning Jazz choir practice was held in the hallway, as was the Jazz band practice. 

When she went up to her locker after rehearsal she heard people making fun of the band and the choir. 
She paused as if waiting for me to find a way to make all the uneasy feelings go away.

I thought for...
what seemed like too long.
I was searching for what to say.

I said something like this to Laura,

"It's not easy being in junior high.

And if you decide to be in choir in high school, 

it might not be easy there either.

Kids often times have to put each other down 

in order to feel better than their selves.

They make fun of each other thinking it will make them look better.

But they are wrong.

Can you imagine if the kids you heard making fun of the band 

instead went up to them and said,

Good Job!
You sounded great!
Its awesome that you come to school an hour earlier 

than everyone else just to practice.

I think that when kids
AND ADULTS
say nice things to each other
then everyone walks away feeling better about themselves. 
I think that is how it should be.
But its not like that ...
not yet."

Then we exchanged our 'I love you's'
and she got out of the car.

On my drive home to pick up Jacquie,
(She also was going to school early for a rehearsal)

I thought about all the activities my kids have been involved in over the course of 26 years or so.

I think being in band and choir has been more difficult than being in sports.  Yet some how it teaches my kids a lot about following their dreams, and sharing their talents with others
even when it isn't the popular thing to do.

I am proud of them for sticking with choir even though it isn't easy.

I know, for the most part, they love choir.

It has been a tricky week around our house as both Jacquie and Caroline have been sick.
As District competition has approached they have been more and more concerned about how to care for their throats and voice.

I woke up this morning to every possible assortment of medication and home remedy's spread out upon the kitchen counters.

I think the girls tried about every combination of items imaginable including boiled ginger root (it didn't make the photo)
in an effort to be able to sing today.

I took videos of Jacquie and Caroline.
Unfortunately,
due to my iPhone not working well,
I messed up Jacquie's videos.

But figured it out to get a video or two of Caroline.

All in all it was a great day for my Choir Girls!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hZImdiH3wBQ

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Makin' Bacon

 This morning is an unusual Sunday for us.
We woke to only 2 kids in the house.
That alone makes for an unusual day.
I don't mind so much as it gave me an opportunity to work one and one with the youngest, Laura Jayne.
Laura wanted to learn to cook bacon.
We were at the grocery store yesterday and somehow the bacon ended up in the cart in spite of the fact that it wasn't on my list.

I am a very deliberate menu/grocery list maker.
I have had to be over the years.
It is too expensive to feed a family of 10
(plus stray neighbor kids)
if I am not deliberate in my list making.

I am sure most everyone has 'popped' into the store for 3 or 4 simple items.
You grab just 1 of your recycle grocery bags.
After all your list is simple, such as; milk, bread, bananas, and toilet paper.
You estimate your bill to be less that $10.
and it will fit in one bag... Hooray!
Yet when you get to the check out counter you have lots more and your bill totals $53.00.

That happens when I let Jeff or the kids go to the store with me.
That is how we ended up with bacon in our cart yesterday.

But that's okay.
It gave me some early morning quality mom/daughter time with Laura that I wouldn't have had otherwise.

Over the years some of my kids have learned to cook and bake and others have not.
I think back and realize that I could have been more deliberate in teaching them all to cook.
It seems that those that were interested in learning have
and those that weren't interested in learning to cook haven't. 

In my house cooking has always been another chore,
its another task on my 'mom to-do list'.
But as our family gets smaller,
I find it more enjoyable
and sometimes...
I even find it relaxing.

There is a vast difference between rushing to cook enough bacon for 10 hungry people,
and teaching an interested 13 year old to cook bacon for 4 people.

This morning was one of those times when it was enjoyable and relaxing.
I look forward to more 'unusual' Sunday mornings.

My only regret is that I don't have the opportunity to spend an unusual Sunday morning with my older kids who are now cooking their own bacon.

Happy Weekend!
I hope you find joy in the unusual!



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Taking the train

I love riding the train.


It's relaxing, rhythmic,
And peaceful.

I am heading to Portland to have a 'play day' with my sister!
We always have fun when we are together and it's been a couple of weeks since we've had a chance to see each other.


There is a Blazer game tonight so it just made sense to take the train, and hang out until game time.
I am trusting I can catch a ride back home with Jeff.

I need this today.
I've spent much of the week working on job applications,
tweaking resumes,
and I even had an actual face to face interview.

Nothing has come of all this,
At least not yet.

But perhaps soon.

I'm just trying to stay positive.
Some days it's easier to be positive than other days.

One thing I am holding on to is,

It's all good!


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Location:NW Station Way,Portland,United States

Spring where are you?

 

Spring Break is over, 

the girls are back in school.

Sleeping in and having them home during the day was fun while it lasted.

Today I am looking for my routine.

I know it should be around here somewhere.
It hasn't been that long since I used it,
but in the last week or so I seemed to have misplaced it.

I have been productive this morning, in spite of losing my routine.
I have done 2 loads of laundry,
unloaded and reloaded the dishwasher,
picked up the house,
cleaned off the kitchen counters,
showered, dressed, and dried my hair.
(You might laugh at that last line, but there are days when I get busy
or too wrapped up in what I am doing and its afternoon before I get in the shower.)

In spite of being productive and freshly showered before noon,
I still feel out of kilter.

Maybe its the drab weather. 

Spring is a time for blue skies,
puffy white clouds,
and lots of new colors blooming in the garden.

Today is gray and drab.
It doesn't look or feel like spring at all.

Regardless, I need to get out my to-do list
and stay focused on the tasks at hand.
Because in 18 days I will be heading to home to Kansas/Nebraska where there is no routine
...And hopefully lots of bright blue springtime skies with puffy white clouds!

http://www.kgw.com/news/local/Wet-cool-March-records-set-to-fall-118688339.html



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Too Many to Count & Not Often Enough...

 Yesterday was a beach day!

I posted a picture on Facebook and my brother asked me, 

"How many times have you photographed that rock?"

I replied, "Too Many to Count 

& 

Not Often Enough... I love this place."

I do love Pacific City, 

Cape Kiwanda 

and Pelican Pub & Brewery.

My brother's question got me to thinking about just how many pictures I have from Pacific City.  

I honestly can say there are too many to count.

Some are just of the scenery, 

some are of family and friends, 

and 

some are of the refreshing beverages available at the pub,

and yes,

some are pictures of feet.

I have a tendency to take feet photos more often than I should.

I've been known to take pictures of my feet while enjoying a delicious craft beer.

I know it is a strange thing to photograph, but it isn't about my feet, and it isn't about the beer.

Its my way of saying, I am right here, right now.

It is my way of reminding myself to live in the present moment.

Not just get 'through' the present moment, 

but to live in it, 

good or bad,

happy or sad.

You see...

I believe in soaking it all up.  

I've never been very good at sidestepping problems, 

sweeping things under the rug, 

or going around troubles.

My feet are important because they are my every day reminder to stay grounded. 

Be firm in my stance.  

 

To stand tall in times of turmoil.

My grandpa Barkman taught me that.

But my feet and the feet photos I have taken and collected from family and friends will have to be the topic of a future blog.

 

this blog is supposed to be about the big rock at Pacific City.

You see, 

the pictures I take of the big rock also is my way of capturing the present moment.

Cloudy or Sunny,

Sunrise or Sunset,

High Tide or Low Tide,

Full Moon or New Moon

Alone or with family or friends.

 Pacific City is where I generally head when I need to just 'BE'.

Below are more pictures of the 'big rock' 

and will always be reminders for me of times when I was there, not 'do-ing' anything,

just 'be-ing' present.

Do you have a place you are drawn to when you just need to be?

I hope so....

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There will be days like this! More Senior pictures.

Yesterday... the mountains,

Today the kids and I

ventured into the city.

At first we encountered cloudy skies and light rain,
But by mid afternoon we had some blue skies and sunshine.

I thought the Grotto might be a good outing.

The kids had never been there,

Its Lent,

and it might provide a good backdrop for a few more pictures.

I'll admit there was a bit of grumbling from some of them.

I mean seriously...

What mom takes their teenage children to a Grotto/Shrine for a fun time on their Spring Break?

They trudged along
(mostly without complaint)
and in the end actually enjoyed themselves.

We didn't stay too long,
(that probably helped lessen the complaints)
we stayed just long enough to get an overall feel for the place.
I wanted them to experience a bit of the serenity,

say a few prayers,

and give me some time to take a few pictures.



All in all...
a good day.

My momma told me there would be days like this!


What's more appropriate than a little Van Morrison?

When its not always raining there'll be days like this
When there's no one complaining there'll be days like this
When everything falls into place like the flick of a switch
Well my mama told me there'll be days like this

When you don't need to worry there'll be days like this
When no ones in a hurry there'll be days like this
When you don't get betrayed by that old judas kiss
Oh my mama told me there'll be days like this

When you don't need an answer there'll be days like this
When you don't meet a chancer there'll be days like this
When all the parts of the puzzle start to look like they f it
Then I must remember there'll be days like this

When everyone is up front and they're not playing tricks
When you don't have no freeloaders out to get their kicks
When its nobody's business the way that you wanna live
I just have to remember there'll be days like this

When no one steps on my dreams there'll be days like this
When people understand what I mean there'll be days like this
When you ring out the changes of how everything is
Well my mama told me there'll be days like this

Oh my mama told me
there'll be days like this

Tomorrow ...   The Beach! 

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Have you ever seen the rain on a sunny day?

Today is the 1st day of spring break for the girls.
Today, the Mountains,
Tomorrow, the City,
Wednesday, the beach,
And who knows where we will end up on Thursday and Friday.

We are trying to do Spring Break on a budget.
It keeps life interesting.

Today, Jacquie and Laura bailed on me, but Caroline didn't.
We went up to Silver Falls State Park  (one of my favorite OR spots.)

I took my camera to take some more 'senior picture' photos.
We took some in the Fall mostly to make the year book deadline,
https://www.me.com/gallery/#100370
but Caroline and I both wanted to take more.

Today wasn't a great day weather-wise, but I gave it my best 'shot'.
(No pun intended.)

Here are a few of my favorites prior to photoshopping...

I haven't compared them to my favorites from last Fall yet.
That will come at the end of the week when we are done taking pictures in the City and at the Beach.
It is awesome that we live within an hours drive of all 3... mountains, city, beach!

I got home in time to throw on a pot of my dad's famous chili.
!  :-)  !

As I was cooking I listened to Pandora and Credence Clearwater Revival's
Have you Ever Seen the Rain?...
that is all the keeps running through my mind now.

My answer is "YES!"

It rained and even hailed a little bit as I was trying to photograph Caroline today.
Tomorrow I hope for a sunny day with NO rain.

I hope Wednesday will be ...
Sittin' by the dock of the bay...

You Gotta Love Spring Break!








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I see the moon, at least I hope to!

I have been infatuated with the moon for as long as I can remember.

I have early memories of watching the full moon move from east to west through my bedroom window at night, and watching the moon follow us home in the car.

The moon seemed to follow me where ever I went.   My little girl mind wondered how the moon knew where to find me each night.  

How did it know where I was going be?

My infatuation and curiosity was enhanced by the Apollo missions.

I couldn't get enough of the moon.

Going to the Kansas Cosmosphere in Hutchinson was my favorite grade school field trip.

That was the first time I saw pictures of earth rising.   

My infatuation of the moon has continued to grow.

I've been fortunate to experience hundreds of full moons rising over the plains of Kansas and Nebraska.

One of my favorite moments was sitting in a field surrounded by the bluffs in northwestern Nebraska. 

As the full moon was rising in the east, 

the sun was setting in the west.  

The world seemed as if it was in perfect balance.

Being able to watch the full moon over the ocean at low tide is equally enthralling to me.

This weekend is our next full moon.

I am hoping that the clouds clear out enough that I get to enjoy its luminous smile.

According to NASA this full moon will be the brightest in 20 years because of its proximity to the earth.

It sounds like a perfect time to get out my tripod and camera.

I just wish I was back in the flat land of Kansas or Nebraska to capture it at first peek/peak over the edge of the earth.

http://www.cnn.com/2011/US/03/18/nasa.moon/index.html?iref=NS1

When my children were small I would sing the 'moon song' to them as I tucked them in at night:

I see the moon, the moon sees me,

peeking through the old oak tree.

Let the moon that shines on me,

Shine on the one I love.

May the moon shine bright on you tonight...

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Family VS Writing: the struggle to make time

This past week has been filled with lots of activities, events, & concerts mixed in with more job searches, resume tweaking, a Shamrock run, court dates, and house cleaning.
It's been fun, interesting, a learning process, and sometimes mundane.
But it's all good.

However, It makes it difficult to find time to blog.

Sigh.

Maybe tomorrow...


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Ripples or Finding Inspiration

When you need to be inspired, where do you look?

Sometimes it is difficult to know where to turn when I need to be inspired,
or simply need a kick in the pants.
Oh don't get me wrong, my kids are a good source for
the 'kick in the pants' I often times need.
But I am talking about something that goes a little deeper than,
"mom, when are you going to start dinner."

How do I find the inspiration I need?
Where should I look for answers unknown?

I have found answers and insight in scripture, meditation,
other people's blogs, reflective readings, music, my family,
(on occasion from within)
and most recently in an email.

Some time in the past year I stumbled upon The Ripples Project.
http://theripplesproject.org/index.php

I don't remember exactly how I came across it, but I remember liking it.
I signed up for a weekly email,
it comes each Monday morning.
Its short and sweet containing 3 inspirational quotes on the same theme.
On a number of occasions it was absolutely perfect for what I needed to hear that week.

The Monday after my dad passed away, the quotes were perfect for me.
It was also right on yesterday after my weekend 'pity party'.
The quotes have been rolling around in my head for 24 hours or so, and
I thought I might share this week's reflections with you.

PEBBLE
Make visible what, without you,
might perhaps have never been seen!
-Robert Bresson

BOULDER
When you allow your best self
to shine through
and have the courage to believe
in unlimited possibilities,
you will discover how wonderfully magnificent
you truly are!
-written & submitted by Elizabeth Hyland, author of
"Surviving The Unemployment Roller Coaster"

PONDER
It may be time to take a deep breath and remind yourself that you really are, as Ms. Hyland states above, Magnificent.  And being Magnificent means that you cannot simply shirk in the shadows, nor can you collapse into a heap because you feel overwhelmed or defeated by the (real) challenges life is presenting to you lately.

Your colleagues, your neighbors, your community, 

and indeed everyone in the entire world desperately 

needs you to release your Magnificence this week.  

So take one more moment to catch your breath 

and then hop up, dust yourself off, 

and then give us your absolute best self.  

Please, and thank you.

Peace,

Paul

A couple of things that have captured my thoughts and inspired me about that email center around the idea that I can help others see things that might not have been seen otherwise. 
This happens all the time as a parent so I know this is true.
I also have to acknowledge that when I get self absorbed,
I am less likely to allow my best self to shine through.
In fact, I tend to retreat and not want to interact with others.

"you cannot simply shirk in the shadows, 

nor can you collapse into a heap 

because you feel overwhelmed or defeated"

Uh...
Yep.
That describes how I spent my weekend.
Maybe not in a heap, but certainly trying to hide and feeling defeated.

Thankfully I didn't stay there too long.

Monday morning came and I got back up again,
Submitted more job applications, cleaned the kitchen,
mailed the bills, bought groceries, worked on Laura's quilt and
got back to the business of life.

I am not sure I felt Magnificent,
but it felt great in comparison to the previous couple of days.

If I keep at it,
if I take one more moment to catch my breath,
Then hop up, dust myself off, and give it my
absolute best, then perhaps that Magnificent feeling will come
by the week's end, at at least it might come...someday.

At least I will feel better for trying.
I am always open to more sources of inspiration...
What inspires you?

Here is the link to another inspirational piece, this time a video...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xG0wi1m-89o

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Attitudes & Mind over Matter

Mind over matter can work.
I believe that.
I have used mind over matter to get me through some difficult situations in my life.

I was trying to explain to my youngest daughter a few days ago about 'mind over matter'.
It was another early morning drive on our way to school that we had this conversation.

(Every morning is a great morning when I can take her to school!

Even if I do dread the sound of my alarm!)

As I started the car she said, "I think I am getting a sore throat."
"No you're not." I said in a matter of fact tone.
She looked at me quizzically.
I went on to say, "you can tell yourself that you are getting sick,
just as easily as you can tell yourself you are NOT getting sick.

Just convince yourself that you are NOT getting sick."

"Mom! That doesn't work." she said.
"Oh yes it does!" I told her.
I said, "It's Mind Over Matter. Have you ever heard that before?"
"No." she replied.

I tried to explain that mind over matter was about attitude.
Everyday you can choose whether you will have a positive attitude or a negative attitude.
You just have to decide what your attitude is going to be.

I used an example of spilling milk on yourself in the morning before heading to work or school.
You can either say, "Damn it all, this is going to be a bad day."
And then proceed to have a bad day,
Or
One can say, "Thankfully this happened at home and I have time to change my clothes.
What luck! It's going to be a good day!"

I also told her, "Attitudes are contagious.
How you act, or how your friends act, can affect everyone around."

I reluctantly mentioned the old phrase,
"If mom ain't happy, ain't No One happy!"

That at lease got a chuckle from her.
I think then she began to understand.
Then we parted ways exchanging "I Love Yous"

Not a block away from the school either a large pterodactyl
or a flock of gulls
tagged my car from hood to trunk.
My windshield was splattered with a nasty white deposit requiring me to hit the wipers to continue down the road.

I was faced with taking my own advice...
Was this some arbitrary sign of whether I would have a bad day, or not?
Could I take control of my attitude and determine the remainder of how my day would go?
I think so!

I opted to determine my own day.

Besides,
Yesterday I saw a coupon in the paper for $2 off the car wash!
Hooray, it's a good day!

(Some of you know I have been looking for a job.

Being out of work for over a year isn't helping our finances.

Its time.)

Later that same morning, the long awaited phone call from the headhunter came in.
I'd been pursuing this job for a few weeks.
After resumes,
applications,
drug testing,
4 interviews,
and a number of sleepless nights wondering if this was a good decision,
My phone was ringing!

I felt very positive about this job.
I took the call with excited anticipation!

And
I wasn't selected.
I didn't get the job.

Again I was faced with applying my own advice to self...

I wondered...
Was this a sign of something better to come?
Or did I just screw up?
I questioned myself...
Was I too open, too honest?
Too qualified, not qualified enough?
Too intimidating? (I've been told that before.)
Too Self Confident?
Not confident enough?
I don't know.
All I know is that someone else was offered the position.

And I was left to think about and decide...
Would I have a good day, or not?

I like to believe I can take control of my attitude and determine my own day.  Most of the time I am good about maintaining a positive attitude.

I try to live by the idea that every day may not be a great day, 

but there is a little bit of great in every day.  

You just have to look for the great parts.

I made it through that day fairly well,
but admittedly 
this weekend hasn't been as easy.

I've worried too much.
Our washing machine quit working.
I've struggled with feelings of inadequacy.
I nearly deleted all of my 10,000 plus photos off the external hard drive...
I've not felt confident or qualified to do much of anything.

I think we all feel inadequate at times.

We all have days or maybe even weeks when we get down on our selves.

But I try not to stay there long.

Unfortunately this weekend my family has noticed...
"When mom ain't happy, ain't No One happy!"

Damn!  I knew that would come back to HAUNT me!

I should be...
Thankful that we were able to recover the photos,
I should recognize my own skills,
But perhaps this job wasn't a good fit.
And I should not worry as much.
Lord knows my life here at home with the kids is extremely full and I was concerned how I would go back to being a full time working mother with 4 teenagers still at home.
I guess I have another week ... or more ... to figure that out.

All I know is that somehow it will be okay...

And on those occasions when things begin to fall through the cracks,

I will just view them as confetti and PARTY!

Because...

It's all Good!

Here are a few of my favorite quotes about attitude.... 

“Whether you think you can or you think you can’t you are right!” -Henry Ford

"The only disability in life is a bad attitude."  -Scott Hamilton

"Say you are well, or all is well with you,
And God shall hear your words & make them true."  -Ella Wheeler Wilcox

Do you have a favorite quote that keeps you going or kicks you in the butt when life gets tough?

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