Spiders or Dancing....Do Not Be Afraid.

I've been thinking a lot about the bible readings from this past weekend.
The teachings focused on faith, trust, and believing that everything would be okay.
I've been primarily been thinking about the scripture from Matthew 6
"Do not worry about your life..."

Most of the time I am pretty good at not worrying.
I haven't always been that way.
I think if I could surround myself with more encouragement
and support and less fear mongering it would be easier to not worry.
But we live in a world of fear, and are surrounded by people, politics, and news reports that try to feed into uncertainties and fears.  It feels like the Age of Anxiety all over again.

Everyone seems to be afraid to call our current economic situation
"a depression",
But I know too many good people that are living as if it were such.
What are we to do?
There is a lot to fear out there.
In times of fear I think back to FDR's line from his inaugural address,
"The only thing we have to fear is fear itself."
But applying that to my life today can be difficult.

So many of us live with fears...

Fear of not being able to find a job,
fear of losing a job.

Fear of high blood pressure,
Fear of Cancer.

Fear of terrorist attacks,
Fear of dog attacks.

Fear of walking alone in the park,
Fear of WalMart.

A big fear in our house seems to be a fear of spiders.
Its not a fear of mine, but it is a fear of many of my girls.

Fear isn't fun. It's controlling and manipulative.
Fear, when used by politicians, or by news reporters, is intimidation
plain and simple.

When an older brother refuses to kill a spider for a younger sister ...
that is when fear is used for control, manipulation, AND intimidation!
That is fear at its worst.
(...not to say this has ever happened in our household!)

As a mom,
I deal with a lot of fear.
My own fear,
my kids fear,
financial fears,
college expense fears,
teen drug or alcohol abuse fears,
and
empty beer frig fears.

Mostly I simply fear not being there when my kids need me.

I realized this morning that the fears of a seventh grade girl
are vastly different than
the fears of
any,
other,
person in the world.

We had another one of our brief,
yet enlightening conversations on our way to school.
It went something like this...
"Only 1 more day until I have to hold some random boy's hand."
Laura said.
"What do you mean?" I asked

Then Laura explained that tomorrow they would have to be partnered up with 'some random boy' and hold their hand for dance class.

I chuckled and said,
"You have brothers.
You've held their hand.
It will be okay."

Clearly this didn't eliminate her fear.
She said, "Mom! You don't understand.
These boys never shower!
And they reek!"

I offered,
"I have some nice smelling hand sanitizer.
I'll send it with you."


She then pleaded with me to write a note that would excuse her from having to dance with 'some random boy'.

I asked, "what class is this?"
"P.E." she said.
She went on to say,
"We've been learning line dances, but tomorrow we have to start learning to swing dance."
I told her, "you will survive this, and I'll give you my hand sanitizer."

She got out of the car and
I said, "I love you!  Have a great day."

But that didn't rid her of her fears.

I could try sharing the words of FDR with her,
"The only thing we have to fear is fear itself."
I could even remind her of last Sunday's scripture,
"Do not worry about your life..."

But somehow I don't think that will help much either.

I guess we all just have to learn to live with a little bit of fear.
The key is not letting it rule our lives.
I don't think the lesson is to NEVER “be afraid”
I think it is more about not letting the fear become you,
Not letting the fear control your life, or your decisions.
"It’s one thing to have a feeling.
It’s another thing when the feeling has us."


So I will continue to work at NOT being a worry wart.
I will work on letting go of the anxiety and fear that creeps into my everyday life,
And I will focus more on having faith,
on trusting,
and believing that everything will be okay.




In case you missed a prior... school drive conversation, check out
http://steppinoutwithdwntwn.blogspot.com/2011/02/riding-bus-doing-right-thing.html

Steppin' out with DWNTWN
DWNTWNimages.me

Being 18....

18...
Do you remember turning 18?
I do.
I was a senior in high school.
I don't remember thinking too much about it other than knowing
I could now legally by alcohol.  :-)

That is right.
In the state of Kansas in 1978 the legal drinking age was 18.
I could also vote, but at the time that didn't seem as important.

Nowadays becoming 18 is still a huge 

turning point in a young person's life. 

But not in the same way as it was for me.

Caroline turns 18 tomorrow.  

Each time one of my children has hit this milestone I can't help but ask myself 

Have I prepared them for the world?

Have I done all that I can to give them the life skills and tools they need to be successful?

Its hard to answer that question.

Its true that an 18-year-old has more rights.

They also have more responsibilities.  

As an 18 year old you can work without restrictions, 

rent an apartments, buy property, 

and get a driver's license without restrictions.  

However, you still can't rent a car, and in some circumstances get a hotel room.

  

You can sign legal contracts, 

open your own bank account 

and unfortunately apply for a credit card.  

But thankfully this also means that your parents are no longer responsible for paying your bills and meeting your expenses. 

Being 18 means you can legally smoke, but you can not give tobacco to your friends who are still underage, and the penalties for illegal activity increases once you turn 18.  

The legality of having consensual sex with another person under 18 remains tricky depending on what the state laws are where you live. 

(I won't go into the moral issues right here, or right now.)

As an 18 year old you can sue someone in court, 

but you can also be sued.  

If you do commit a crime, there is no more option for juvenile hall.  

The penalties are the same as for any other adult. 

Now that you are 18, you can vote, serve on a jury, 

and if you are male, you must register for the Selective Service. 

There is a lot that goes into being 18.

But here in our house the biggest concern is ...

What do you want for your birthday dinner?

Each child, on their birthday, gets to select the meal and dessert that they desire for dinner.

Its a "take it or leave it" menu night where the whole family dines on the chosen birthday dinner.

As the family awaits the announcement of Caroline's choice,
the anticipation rises.

Will she choose something everyone will like, 

or will she choose something 'healthy'?

The final choice has not yet been selected, but regardless, 

I anticipate a great celebration for Caroline as she makes her way into adulthood.

Do you have a favorite birthday memory or a favorite birthday meal?  Mine was always Goulash and fried potatoes, one of my mom's specialties!

Here are a couple of past blogposts from her birthdays...

http://jbrownflash.blogspot.com/2007/02/remembering-and-memories.html

http://jbrownflash.blogspot.com/2008/02/caroline-jo.html


Steppin' out with DWNTWN
DWNTWNimages.me